I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
