what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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