imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
