kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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