; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
