I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
