I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
