dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
