Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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