Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
