just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
