friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
