so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
