So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
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The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize