...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
