yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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