Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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