I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He kissed a someone with a penis
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
