i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
