I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I am naked and annoyed.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
