i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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