Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
