Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
