Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
