What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
