we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
