i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And then my night got REAL pukey
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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