you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
