he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize