I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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