No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
