These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
