porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude i'm inner monologue high
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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