Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
