weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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