But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We talked him into tasing himself.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
