She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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