Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
