hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
okay pat passed out under dana's car
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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