i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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