she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she pinky promised me she was 18
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
