the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
