I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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