I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
sex in a hospital.. check
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
