You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
