I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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