I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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