Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
