I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
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I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
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walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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