Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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