Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.