Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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