all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
