I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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