thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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