He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
