hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
